Look, it has to be said, even good people are going to engage in gossip, at least some of the time, because of the pleasure it brings to them, to tell a titillating or scandalous tale or two. The thing about gossip is that many people have something that they want to say behind someone’s back, not so much because they hate the other person, though, they might, but rather as a way to make themselves feel better, by bringing out the foibles of the other, which helps them to picture their own self, as somehow being a person of better character, even when they are not.
While it has to be said, that there are plenty of people who have lots of nice things to say about us and others, and actually verbalize those very things, it can, for many a person, get tiresome to talk about how smart our neighbor is, or how nice their cars are, or how good their children behave and perform at school, and this and that, because as much as we might admire the other, it seems that the more that we praise them, the greater the distance is between who and what we really are, as apparently against who and what they seem to be, and that can grate on a person’s nerves because nobody wants to constantly compare themselves to the other, and find that they are always second best, which is part of the reason why we have gossip, which thereby helps us to even out the score.
While it is true that some gossip is rather mean-spirited and vengeful, a lot of gossip, has more to do, with making fun of the other, because by doing this, though not in their face, makes us feel better about our own situation, in the sure knowledge that nobody is perfect, and the reason that we know that this is so, is because of the gossip that we communicate about the other. So too, it seems to help our ego, when we knock down a notch or two, somebody that is held in high respect, mainly because we don’t want to feel that we are so lacking and that we can’t ever rise to the level that these other people seem to be at.
Additionally, people typically need something to talk about, and to relate to, of which, that which people relate to has an awful lot to do with the stories that we express about the other that we are familiar with, made more interesting when we dish out gossip about them, that not only appears to be true but makes us feel better by entertaining our friends with our gossiping stories, that they seem to enjoy hearing, as much as we enjoy telling.
Indeed, while there are probably better and more constructive things that we could do when we interact with others, sometimes, in order to pull ourselves up, we need to knock the other down, rightly or wrongly, to improve thereby our social standing, or the interest that others find by engaging with us, because just about everyone loves a story, and if there is a little dirt to spread, so much the better.