In today’s society, we have a lot of ways to communicate with one another that simply didn’t exist before, such as email, text messaging, and through social media. While these alternative ways to communicate have their place, they can’t fully replace the human need to have communication on a more personal level, done on a face-to-face basis or via a phone. There is, though a lot of difference between in-person communication and communication though phone, for the former basically requires some sort of eye-to-eye contact, at least, occasionally; whereas, the other can be done in a manner in which one or both persons on that call could be multi-tasking -- that is to say, sort of listening but doing other things on the side, such as cleaning, or cooking, or using an app, so that these two ways of communicating aren’t equivalent.
So too, there are plenty of people, that like to talk, and talk, and talk, which for those that are on the receiving end of such people, pretty much necessitates that their communication is going to have to be on the phone, because the other, doesn’t typically have the time or the desire to pay full attention to what is being said, not only because they have seemingly heard it all before, but also because they don’t have the time to devote to that conversation, for they have their own obligations to attend to, which is why, we get the situation in which we can hear the words so being spoken, but we aren’t really listening to them, whatsoever.
One might think that when we don’t really listen to the other, that they might surmise that they are essentially being ignored, but that depends on the nature of the conversation, for certain people just want to vent about this or that, and are really just looking for an echo chamber, as compared to an actual conversation, and as long as we confirm to acknowledge the validity of what they are saying, they are content with such. Then some need us to really listen, but because they meander from one topic to another, or talk about things that we aren’t really in agreement with, yet we aren’t able to pushback on, because they won’t accept that, we have to respond to them in general affirmations so that whatever that they are saying still is validated.
Additionally, when we have been in a familial relationship for a long time, there is a strong tendency to believe that whatever that person is saying, is the same sort of story that we have heard before, time and time again, which is why we often tune out what they are saying to contemplate our own issues or thoughts, instead.
In all of these areas, we have the situation in which the recipient is listening in the sense that they hear the words, but they aren’t really listening in the sense that they are actively trying to engage in the conversation for a lot of reasons, which may well include the fact that they have their own thoughts they want to express but aren’t getting the chance to, they are preoccupied, they have work to do, or it could be that they have heard it all before, which is why when we really have something of import to say, the very first thing that we need to find out, is whether or not the other is ready and able to fairly hear us out.