Some people emotionally detach from others, mainly because they are afraid to get close to another, for fear of being vulnerable by virtue of opening up about their real emotions, that at some future point, when the relationship has been damaged or comes to a negatively charged moment – believe that because their true emotions have been previously expressed, this could thereby be used as a cudgel against them, and thereby hurt them. So, their protection for this possible event is to build an emotional wall that seemingly doesn’t make them vulnerable to being hurt, but at the same time, precludes them from having a healthy attachment to somebody else, which could be quite beneficial, and precludes them therefore from all the advantages that a healthy emotional attachment to another person, presents.
That said, there are valid reasons why we should desire not to have an emotional attachment to a particular person, because the fact of the matter is that not everybody that we meet and know is somebody that is stable, somebody worthy of our trust, and somebody that needs to know that which is very personal to us. The reason that this is so, is that not everybody has our best interests in mind, which is why we need to exhibit discretion when it comes to our overt emotions, for when the wrong person has valuable personal information about us, this can definitely hurt us, and by that hurting, this can change how we react with other people in the future, by being more cautious about our attachments, leaving us possibly bereft of the benefits of a healthy emotional attachment, for our fear of being betrayed or hurt, thus outweighing everything else.
In truth, life involves not only choices but also risks, so that whenever we clam up about what we are really feeling or hold back from expressing our true feelings, we have let the possibility of uniting with another, and thus the benefits of that additional strength to fall by the wayside, because our concern for our own safety takes precedence over the possibility that the other could be of benefit to us. So too, when we are reluctant to be our true self and therefore to emotionally attach to the other, we inadvertently are hurting the other, because we are not able to bring the best emotional support to them, because we are not close enough to them, to be in that position.
Indeed, it is well to remember that the only time that the turtle makes progress is when that turtle sticks its neck out. So too, for better or for worse, in order to have a healthy emotional relationship with another, we need to give a little in order to gain a little. This doesn’t mean, though, that we shouldn’t be selective and discriminatory in our choices, because those who have demonstrated that they are untrustworthy, unstable, and unreliable, are probably not the best person to emotionally attach to, for their character is probably going to be a character that will not only ultimately disappoint us, but be hurtful to us, and thereby emotional damaging. Instead, we must endeavor to choose well; by doing so, the result will be a much better opportunity for emotional happiness.