Nowadays, marriages are done by some people at the drop of a dime, or without any real meaningful thought process, or for no particular valid reason, and the subsequent divorce for these frivolous type marriages, is not something wholly unexpected; basically, putting the lie to till “death do us part.” Then, there are those other marriages that are a very big deal, well planned out and suitable; and of which, marriage thereby still remains for a significant number of couples, one of the most important days of their lives; though virtually none of this is at the level that a matrimonial pledge itself was, back in the 19th century and before.
In earlier times, a given male who made a pledge to a female to get married, had, in fact, made a solemn commitment, of which, if subsequently he was unable to fulfill that sacred obligation, there were serious consequences that would be appropriately dealt with in due time. It has to be remembered, that females got married at a much younger age, back then, so time most definitely was of the essence; in addition, to the fact that courtship, itself, was a ritual with written and unwritten rules, so that when a couple pledged to get married to one another, this essentially meant that they were not to be interfered with by any other party; for that commitment, was in so many words, sacrosanct, and thereby one very short step from the actual marriage celebration, itself.
So then, given those conditions, and the fact that some people, invariably, got “cold feet” or had second thoughts, or were scoundrels; it would be well to remember that this then was not one of those situations, in which, some sort of simple apology would do; for a female betrothed to her man, of which, she was essentially “off the market” for any extended period of time, was hurt, first and foremost by the fact that she didn’t actually get married. So too, there was the material fact that having lost a significant portion of her limited time as good marriage material, her perceived value by other potential suitors was damaged, and left her susceptible to being labeled as an “old maid;” along with the salient fact that she might now be seen, rightly or wrongly, as damaged goods; as if she was no longer considered to be pure, unblemished, or virginal.
Young women, so betrothed, in which, that marriage subsequently did not occur, were typically not going to be subsequently perceived as being of more value by others; though, there were exceptions to that; but rather, typically were wont to being perceived by worthy suitors as being “suspect,” at least at a minimum, on a subconscious level. After all, many people, are not thrilled to being thought of as the second or the alternative choice when it comes to a marriage. So too, all the preplanning and arrangements so made by the families of the parties to that marriage, would all be for naught, which further served to muddy the waters. This was indeed a time when a man’s word was his sacred bond, as was the woman’s acceptance of such, in return. Today, that isn’t really the case; though, it’s hard to see that as actually being progress.