Not every thought that comes to us do we bother to express – for a lot of reasons, of which the most important reason is because not everything that comes to our mind is of value to express. That is to say, those who are incapable of self-editing, who decide that they don’t want to think before they speak, but simply blurt out whatever is on their mind, are surely the same ones who are going to get themselves into the sort of trouble, that would best be avoided. Indeed, just because a thought comes to mind, does not necessarily mean it is appropriate to express that thought, which is why those who rightly develop discretion, and further to the point, understand that how we communicate with one another makes a difference in how we get along, are going to not only hold their tongue when that tongue needs holding, but also are going to say the right words at the right time, as well.
When it comes to communication, it’s important that we develop the discrimination and thereby the deportment to express ourselves in a manner in which what we have to say or to comment upon, will make a given situation better, as compared to making it worse. This is why we really should try to think through what we are going to say before we say it – and in those situations in which we don’t have a lot of time to think, to do our level best to express ourselves in a way and manner which is not mean, hateful, or harmful to the other. After all, once we have expressed what we have to express, through words that we speak, or write, we cannot take it back; though truth be told, we can attempt to walk it back, but that shouldn’t be something that we ought to be doing very often, for those that express themselves in a manner which is consistent with the being of help to the other, aren’t going to need to backtrack very often.
No doubt, there are those temptations that make us want to say what we do say, but the best way to overcome that temptation is simply to leave alone, what is best to leave alone, for it has to be said, that when the shoe is on the other foot, we may well tend to hold onto hurtful words and actions done to us, for incredibly long periods, which thereby hurts our relationships and makes us to be more “gun shy” when interacting with other people. Indeed, it often takes a more experienced and wiser person to understand the value of saying the right thing, and leaving unsaid what doesn’t need to be said, because hurting the other when it isn’t necessary or appropriate to do so, is not going to sit well within our heart, whatsoever.
At the end of the day, our thoughts are our own, and those who utilize discretion in the expressing of their thoughts in a format that is consistent with civil discourse, are the very same, who will sleep better, knowing that they did people right, rather than wrong.