Living life involves making decisions, taking actions, and doing all sorts of things, of which some of those decisions, some of those actions, and some of those things are going to be in error or wrong. It is good that each of us strives towards perfection, that we want or should want to be the best that we can be, so mistakes, missteps, are all part of that learning experience, and life as lived most definitely is an experience which has its positives and its negatives. Negative things are inevitably going to happen both to us, and by us, and our overarching objective should be to minimize the negative, understand that negativity so as to deal with it better and thereby to correct it, or ameliorate it, and then move on.
Those that beat themselves up the most about negative things done to them or by them, are not the worse or most unfortunate people in the world, by virtue of the simple observation, that as long as they being in recognition that something has occurred that is negative, endeavor to correct it or deal with it in a positive manner. The fact that you recognize negative actions and wish to correct them reflects that you consciously want to change things for the better and by making changes in your life so as to make things more positive, makes for a better world.
Everything that we do has consequences, of which, fair to say, we don't always know the consequences that will occur from what we do, so that there are times when truly unintentionally we create havoc or harm when that was not our intention. While it is true that what is done is done, what is also true is that we have a responsibility to ourselves as well as to others, to make good on the trouble that has been caused, so as to balance out our actions, and, if possible to make things better.
The mistakes that we make are mistakes that we must, in order to be considered an autonomous individual, we must take responsibility for. It's convenient to place the blame elsewhere, for some reason many people are seemingly programmed that way, but that programming fundamentally comes from our self, in which by denying our guilt, we deny the right to be punished for it, allowing us to believe that we have escaped forever that punishment and lived to fight another day, even though all we have done is denied something which is true, and truth will, sooner or later, reign triumphant.
Nobody should mire themselves in the negative, as castigating themselves again and again, serves little purpose, because it is not constructive. Negative things that happen to you, or are caused by you, are things that have been done, meaning that in the present time that one's positive action should be to recognize such errors, recognize the damage, and endeavor to find the capacity to either correct it, overcome it, or mitigate it, so as to do better next time when it or something similar happens.
A life lived in darkness is lived in the negative, as this life cannot amount to much because it lacks the clarity that we receive from the brightness of light, thereby in order to find that brightness, we must first burn off the dross of negativity by embracing the positive aspects and bright sunshine of a life lived and fulfilled by integrity, fairness, and brotherly love.